First Love.


You know those times when you read through your journal (supposing you have a journal) and come across that revelation you had, those inspiring quotes you'd scribbled down, the Scripture that got you through a specific circumstance?  This morning was one of those times.  As I sat in church with my lovely friend Alyssa, I found myself multitasking: listening to the pastor speak on John 11 whilst also combing through pages of my journal from this past summer.

Summer was a good time for me - a good time for growth as a daughter of God earnestly trying to seek after His heart.  I was challenged to be His and His alone; to not let earthly things, people, or insecurities get the best of me, but to give Him every single part of me.  My summer was all about shattering my innate selfish pride and wholly giving myself over to my Lord.  I'd be lying if I said it wasn't an intense struggle of self, because most days it was.  But if I were to be living for myself and my own wants and desires, I would be undoubtedly disappointed.  I've learned that there is nothing more beautiful than living my life for He who loves me, cherishes me, and calls me His own.

As I read through the things I had previously written on my journal's pages, I was convicted.  I had been so focused on Christ in the last weeks of summer, and so driven to keep my eyes on Him and thus point others to Him.  I remember my prayers being something along the lines of, "Lord, may I be a Godly woman who, in everything she says, does, thinks, and creates, points others to Jesus.  May I decrease so that You may increase!"  Now, I am not saying that this hasn't been my mentality since I've been back at school; it just hasn't been at the forefront of my mind, which is it's rightful place.  I've been regrettably distracted...until now.

I have once again been inspired to commit this season of my life to being fully devoted to growing deeper in relationship with Christ and seeking after His heart.  Even with the pressures of taking college classes, working, and attempting to have a social life, I will not let myself be distracted from my first Love.  I will remind myself daily of the truth that, "Until He is my all in all, I am not truly living the Gospel life."

He is my everything, and I trust Him to satisfy my heart's every need, longing, and desire.  I truly, truly want nothing more than to be wholly and completely consumed by the relationship I have with my Father.  And so I pray, "Lord, may I be a Godly woman who, in everything she says, does, thinks, and creates, points others to Jesus.  May I decrease so that You may increase!"

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