Last night I laid awake in bed thinking. Just thinking. I was exhausted and sure that I would fall asleep instantly after hitting my pillow, but alas, I found myself unable to stop the thoughts that were running through my head.
The past week for me has been an interesting one, simply because God has been working in my heart in regards to my relationships with friends and family. In general, relationships are pretty complicated, but they are also so wonderful. God created human relationships in order to foster koinonia - which is of Greek origin meaning "Christian fellowship or communion, with God or, more commonly, with fellow Christians." We are meant to be in community, in relationship, with other followers of Christ in order to encourage, challenge, and build one another up. The question that has been on my heart, then, has been: where are we to draw the line between healthy and unhealthy closeness in Christ-like relationships?
Lately, I have been learning what it means to have healthy distance, and thus be able to disclose healthily within my relationships. For the first few years of my being a Christian, I didn't have one "best friend". It wasn't by choice, and it was really hard, but it was extremely necessary for me. I am, by nature, a bit of a codependent person, and I am confident that if I'd had a best friend in that time, I would have put priority on that relationship instead of my relationship with God (and of course His rightful place is before anyone/anything else). Last year, God blessed me with a few really great friends that I have been able to "go deep" with, and I so enjoy seeing Christ work in and through them as well as our friendship.
Drawing that line previously mentioned, however, has not been easy. It would be almost effortless for me to depend on the people in my life for support, encouragement, counsel, comfort when I am dealing with something - but the truth is that I need to be going to God with these things first. I need to fervently seek His guidance through prayer and meditation before going to people. Friends and relationships are great, but one cannot rely solely on people. Ultimately, God is our Guide, our Comforter, our Encourager, our Lord, and His rightful place is first. I've learned to trust Him and seek Him before all others - and this has helped me to realize that a healthy Christ-like relationship is one in which God is first.
I love the people that He has blessed me with, and I am thankful that He has challenged and grown me through those relationships (and He will continue to, I'm sure)
Side note: I apologize that my thoughts seem to be all over the place.