Completely His.

"Indeed, the true bride of Christ longs to adore Him.  She looks for opportunities to steal away and express her tender affections to Him.  She fuels her longings for Him each time she pours her heart out before Him and asks Him to draw her nearer to His precious side.  She sets her eyes in His direction throughout the day, wondering when He will make His triumphant return for her.  She knows no greater satisfaction than to simply and joyfully meditate on His name.  She carries a wonderful secret in her heart, a secret that stirs her soul and awakens her passions like nothing else: she is not just anybody.  She has been chosen." 

This past holiday weekend, I decided to "take the weekend off" from being a college student and instead spend a few days at my aunt's house.  So I packed my things - which included laundry, sweats, toiletries, and nothing school-related - and headed off campus.  If you read my last blog post, you know that I have been in a bit of a spiritual slump, thus I committed the weekend to spending quality time with the Lord in fervent prayer, journaling, and reading through His Word.  So on Saturday, I stole away to a quiet coffee shop in town, bought myself a hot latte, and plopped down at a large table in the corner near the window.  With the sun warming my face, I put in my headphones and opened my journal, only to find that I had no idea where to begin...

So I prayed.  Hard.  I spent time in repentance, seeking His forgiveness for my lack of faith, my tendency to envy and compare myself to others, my inexcusable laziness, and my sin.  I thanked Him for all of the blessings that He's lavished on me: my (dysfunctional) family, my amazingly supportive friends, my Christ-centered relationships, the ability to attend a Christian college, for meeting all of my financial needs, and for relentlessly seeking after my heart despite my unworthiness.  Then, the Holy Spirit worked in me mightily, convicting me of many truths.  I was reminded of my beauty, as I am made in God's image.  I was reminded that I am a daughter of the King, making me a princess (have you ever seriously considered this truth?  You are the King's beloved daughter.  You are precious to Him, loved by Him, and He fights for you!  Meditate on this truth, and I promise that you will not be disappointed when He speaks to your heart as His beloved daughter who has been bought).  I was reminded that while I am a fallen and broken sinner, I have been washed white as snow as a result of His sacrifice on the cross. And I was reminded that His love for me is the only thing that will ever fully satisfy my deepest needs and longings, so long as I let Him pour into me fully (I pray that you know this truth deep within your heart.  No one and no thing will ever satisfy like the love of God.  Ever.)

I was also convicted of the areas in my life where I have been compromising, which is never an easy thing to face, especially considering He clearly reminded me that He will not honor disobedience.  A harsh truth, but how right on is that statement?  If you know God is calling you to do something, to have a conversation, or to leave a situation, what is holding you back?  It may be difficult, but remember that "God does not ask of us that which does not ultimately benefit us.  Obedience to His voice will always result in blessing in the long run."

So I left the coffee shop caffeinated, encouraged, and convicted, and was absolutely blessed on my date with Jesus.  I am now more confident than ever of the truth that "I want to love Jesus without limits.  I want to be a woman who sees herself as the beloved bride of Christ, His chosen helpmate who joyfully pursues His presence and seeks to carry out His will."  I long to be completely His.

I pray that you, too, are seeking after God's own heart and to do His will, and that the deepest desire of your heart is to bring Him all the glory, as that is His greatest desire and our greatest privilege.  

(All quotes from Completely His by Shannon Ethridge)