Crying Out.

"The desert is the perfect season and place for preparation...and the quicker you learn, the sooner you get out.  Look at what happened with my chosen people in the desert because of their stubbornness.  I love you too much to leave you where you are and I have greater plans than your mind perceives.  I make a way in the wilderness." (source)

It's been one of those days... or a few of those days.  On top of being sick, I've found myself feeling lethargic, indifferent, and spiritually disconnected.  I haven't been spending time in the Word, I've not been seeking God's heart near enough in prayer, and lies have started to filter in: lies of unworthiness, taunts of physical ugliness, the reminder that I am forever scarred without hope of healing.  I am embarrassed to admit how often I so quickly believe them!  And once the slightest glimmer of belief in those lies appears, the buttons get pressed and I sink further and further into the hole of self-pity, and by the time I even realize what's happening, I'm stuck.

I am stuck, and I've tried to claw my way out, reaching toward the light at the surface... but I continuously fail trying to do it by myself.  It's inevitable.  I've realized that all I can do is cry out to God for rescue, because alone I can do nothing; apart from Him I am capable of nothing.

And so I cry, "Help me, oh Lord, and forgive me of my inequities.  Have mercy on my soul and forgive me for my lack of faith!  You have promised the richest of treasures to your daughter, and You are faithful.  You have transformed my life and healed my heart, yet I have regrettably allowed You to slip from being the center of my life, which is Your rightful place!  Lord, I need you.  Desperately.  Fully.  I wholeheartedly look to You now.  Rescue me, Father, and comfort me as only You can.  Replace his lies with Your truth and speak it directly to my heart.  Help me, Lord, for I cannot do this without You."