If there is one definitive thing that I have learned this summer, it is that it faith is a daily choice... and often a daily struggle. When summer began, I thought I had a pretty good idea what I was going to do for a job after graduating, only for God to totally shut that door in my face. I know that sounds awful and, well, it kind of was, but I am grateful that He did. Then, through a lot of down-time and prayer, I learned that this season was one of rest for me. I learned a lot more about God's character in this season, including the truth that His will is really quite simple. As well, I realized there is a difference between His will for my life versus His calling on my life. Most recently, I've been on a journey of humbling myself... and that leads us, friends, to right here. Allow me to explain.
I recently began a really great nannying job for two of the most adorable girls on the face of the planet (not an exaggeration at all). I get to spend 9 hours a day, 3 days a week with little Miss A (age 4) and little Miss R (age 2), playing games, spending time outside, braiding hair, doing arts & crafts, and cuddling while we watch Tangled. It's basically the most fun job ever. BUT - and this is a big but - it is not the job I thought I would be doing post-graduation.
I am in a daily battle with my pride right now. I expected more of a "grown-up" job for myself. Instead, I began feeling like a "glorified babysitter" who "didn't need a college education to do this." Ouch. These kinds of toxic (and untrue) thoughts, my friends, have the potential to completely ruin what God has for us. The joy He was filling me with was being squandered by these lies! As I was journaling the other day of the things that were on my heart, I wrote the following:
"Nannying for A & R is truly such a blessing. How lucky am I to get to love on and pour into their little lives while also relieving their parents and offering them some peace of mind as they both work to support their family? SO blessed I am! Yes, it's true that it is not a very glamorous job. It's not very "important" in the eyes of the world... thank goodness I'm not seeking worldly approval! I am convinced that I am exactly where You want me right now: loving, serving, and ministering to a great family while humbling myself and battling my pride issue. Thanks, Father. You know exactly what I need, especially when I don't."
Have you ever had one of those moments where you write something down, go back to read it, and realize that the Spirit totally inspired those words? So awesome! Every time I reread that prayer, I thank God for the opportunity He's placed in my path. Maybe it's not super glamorous and doesn't seem very important, but I believe God thinks otherwise. These two little girls are His daughters, and He's entrusted me to watch over them, love them, and share Jesus with them. That is no small responsibility.
But it is a daily battle. Fighting my pride. Fighting the lies. And holding onto the truths that God has spoken to me. No job is too small or too dirty for our God to use us. Wherever He has led you, wherever He has called you, trust that He has you there for a far greater reason that You can see or imagine. He works in mighty and mysterious ways. God uses us to glorify Himself, so let Him do with you want He wants to. And have faith that He knows what He is doing, especially when you don't.