On Mercy

I am so thankful for the simple truth that God's mercies are new today.  It's not as though this is any kind of revolutionary thought, but over the course of the last few weeks I have found greater meaning in it, particularly as light is being shed a little more on some of the ugly parts of my heart.

Lately I have realized that there are some sins in my life that have become almost habitual, because it's "the way I've always been" or "the thing that I've always struggled with."  But those are some lame excuses, which I say with no pretense because that is exactly what they are: things I say or use to reason with the fact that what I am doing - or the way that I am living or treating another person - is okay.  If the justification for my behavior or attitude is simply because it has become my normal, well, that just isn't okay at all.

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Behind The Scenes

About 20 minutes after I wrote my last post, I got a call from the company that I had been interviewing with here in Tennessee letting me know that they had a job for me and wanted me to start the next day!  Picture me, sitting in the middle of one of the busiest Starbucks' in Nashville (right across from Vanderbilt University), trying not to scream with excitement or cry out of pure thankfulness while talking to my supervisor on the phone.  It was a sight to behold, let me tell you.

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The Pruning

Two weeks in to life here in Tennessee, and things are... well, honestly?  Things are hard.  I'm aware that sometimes our behavior on social media can portray a distorted reality, and I am sure that thus far mine has.  I mean, it looks like I am just drinking lots of coffee, attending concerts, and enjoying the cities of Nashville and Franklin.  While some of that is true (note: I drink a lot of coffee because it gets me out of the house and is cheaper than an actual meal, I spontaneously got a ticket to a Hunter Hayes concert last weekend, and I have spent some time exploring these two cities because I don't have much else to do), the truth is that this whole thing is a massive personal struggle.

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The Waiting

I am currently sitting in a coffee shop in a sweet town not far from Nashville enveloped in the buzz of espresso machines, southern accents, and the sound of rain each time someone opens the door.  It has been about 9 days since I arrived here in Tennessee, and to say that I like this place would be an immense understatement.  I have fallen in love with the people and their sweet hospitable spirits, with the lush green landscapes that are slowly but beautifully turning into the most glorious shades of yellow, orange, and red, and with the newness and wonder of discovering a few favorite places to get away.  I love what is happening all around me, and yet even in the midst of all of these wonderful things, my heart is restless.

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