When Christmas Isn't Easy

Let me start by saying that this post is totally unplanned, and thus a little raw and vulnerable.  But as I sit here crying on Christmas Eve, I knew that I needed to get my thoughts – messy as they may be – out of my head, maybe even if only for myself.  But the more I dwell on it, the more I believe that I am not the only one who struggles at Christmastime, and even other holidays where family gathers together to celebrate and act on their traditions and generally have a good time... together.

See, I haven't had a "normal" Christmas in almost a decade.  When asked about my family's traditions, I get embarrassed when I realize that I cannot remember much, if anything... that I cannot remember how we celebrated holidays or what we typically did as a family.  This is partially due to my parents splitting up when I was young, partially because of having blacked out some of my memories as a kid/young teen, and partially because I have spent the last 6 Christmases in different places with different families. 

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