Honesty hour: I'm not totally sure how things look from the outside, but this is easily one of the weirdest seasons of life that I've walked through. It's unpredictable, uncomfortable, and unlike anything I've known thus far. When I think back on past seasons, it's not difficult to see why they were easier to digest than my current one. Much of my time in high school and college was fairly predictable and routine, after which I went almost immediately into the workforce. Then God put Nashville on my heart, so I moved there in faith — which was totally scary — and pretty quickly got a job with Dave Ramsey's organization, where I ended up working for four years. And it was there that I paid off all of my debt and worked toward the season that I now find myself in: living back in my hometown, working part-time, and planning for my big upcoming trip.
If you read my birthday post back in October, you know that I am about to embark on a multi-month long trip through Europe, which is definitely exciting. The truth, though, is that it doesn't feel very exciting right now. I left the comfort and safety of a full-time job (with benefits!) to literally move back home, *maybe* work a little, and plan a massive, so-many-details-involved trip, all while having pretty much no idea what my life will look like once I come back. To my little Type-A heart, this has all been real scary. But my re-burgeoning faith is telling a different story; it's reminding me daily that in me not having a solid plan, God can do anything. Read more
Gosh, even just typing out the title of this post freaks me out. Twenty-eight? How the heck is that possible? Something about that number just feels so much older, and so close to thirty, and like maybe I should have my life together a little (or a lot) more than I currently do, ya know? Which is why it's so ironic that I am here to share some exciting, scary, and all around bittersweet news, because it all feels a little haphazard and crazy and like I don't have anything together at all. but hey, I know God loves to move in that space. So here it is:
Yep, it's true! After four wonderful years of living in Nashville, I am getting ready move to move back to where I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. But I want you to know that I am not moving for a new job or career opportunity. I am heading back to California namely to be closer to family for a few months, and also to start planning for my next big adventure. And let me say, I think that the word "adventure" often tends to elicit feelings of excitement, awe, and wanderlust, and while I feel these things from time to time, I'm also in the middle of some of the less glamorous feelings of sadness, fear, and anxiety. There is a lot of risk involved in this next season, but I also have the strongest sense that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do.
The last week has been a tough one for me, both emotionally and spiritually, and despite coming across as calm on the surface, I've felt anything but. On top of some current and looming life changes which are both exciting and terrifying, I have found myself thinking more deeply on a few different topics, namely the idea of family and my own personal experiences with both my biological and spiritual families. And it has been challenging to wade through all of the newly-discovered yet unresolved feelings I've encountered. In the middle of all of this, I happened upon this post and just about lost it. The line that really hit me was:
"Healing parts of your heart that you’ve once put to the side—whether to survive, to be strong, to avoid pain or take care of others—may be the most powerful act of faith that God is calling you to make today." Read more
Anyone else out there ever struggled with or questioned a place you've been in, or even the one that you are in currently? Because I definitely have, and even sometimes still do. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that it is far too easy for us nowadays to become discontent in our spaces - our work, our homes, our relationships, even our own bodies - and that, my friends, is a slippery slope. With the rise of multiple social media platforms over the last few years, we have grown so accustomed to seeing highlight reel after highlight reel of other people's lives (think our feeds on Instagram, Facebook, etc.) that it can make certain aspects of our own lives seem boring or insignificant. Read more