Real Talk: Being Single

As I’ve been hanging out in New York City for the last few weeks, I recently decided to make a reservation for one at a popular and busy dessert restaurant. After spending countless hours holed up in my friends’ apartment clocking my work hours and hustling over a new project (that I can’t wait to share with y’all soon!), I decided it was high time to take myself out for a sweet treat. So I made the 1.5 mile walk across Central Park toward the restaurant, ready to devour all things chocolate, only to end up slightly salty about a comment that was made to me by a waiter. As I was sitting down, he motioned to the empty seat and asked, “Where is your second person?” to which I kindly replied, “oh nope, it’s just me!” He half-smiled and said, “Oh, okay . . . well, enjoy.” That was one thing in itself, but then as I was leaving, he made sure to say to me over his shoulder, “hopefully next time there will be someone with you!”

While I don’t think there was any ill-intent in that this particular situation, I know that his comment could have been taken one of two ways: maybe it was said in kindness because it seemed like there should have been someone with me (like I’m cute and should have had a guy with me, or at least a friend), or that he was annoyed that — at the peak of their busy time of the day — they would only be serving one person/one meal instead of a “full party.” Sine I truly believe it was the former, you should know that I wasn’t personally offended. I have done so many things on my own at this point that a meal is pretty basic, and the truth is that I am totally comfortable taking myself out as I have learned over the last few years to truly enjoy my own company. What did take offense, however, was my not-so-slight justice complex, because all I could think was, “man, if I wasn’t as okay with being by myself, that could have really stung.” Which got me thinking even more that there are too many misconceptions around singleness, and — having been single for quite some time myself — there are a few things that I think need to be said about it from a single person’s perspective. And while I’ve confessed some things about singleness in the past, I’ve been searching for more: more truth, more guidance, and more encouragement for all of us as we, together, navigate the rapidly growing population of singles. But unfortunately, apart from this spot on message* (which I will reference many times in this post and encourage all of you to listen to ASAP), I haven’t come across much that suffices, thus I find myself here once again, sharing my heart on something that can be uncomfortable to talk about bluntly: singleness.

Read More
Follow

Single Girl Confessions

Alright friends, it's dating confession time, so here I go: the truth is that I've been single for over six years, and never been on a proper first date.  You know, the kind where you have to get to know the person over a potentially awkward meal or cup of coffee.  And some may ask: why?  Well, because I've never been asked, but don't feel sorry for me.  I've been so busy and focused on my personal goals that I'm pretty sure I've given off a big ol' "NOPE" vibe for much of the last six years, and I'm okay with that.  I mean, I don't think that I've missed my window of opportunity or that I am past my prime — I'm only 28.  Plus a big result of the last few years is that I now know more of who I am, I'm debt-free, and I've saved enough money to travel for a bit, so I think I'm doing pretty well in spite of not having been on a date.

While I am by no means an expert on this topic or a pro at rocking my single status, I have spent many years watching countless friends get engaged, married, and start having babies all while I've been single.  And here are a few of the things I've learned...

    Read More
    Follow

    Being Single & Walking on Water

    Earlier this month I spent almost two (glorious) weeks back in my home state of California for a few different events, including a wedding, VBS at the church I used to work at, and to see friends and family. On one of my final days while I was staying in my hometown in the Bay Area, I decided to take my rental car, plus some sweet Spotify playlists, and drive the Pacific Coast Highway down to Big Sur. My view as I drove alongside sandy beaches, curving cliffs, and towering redwoods was both spectacular and refreshing, and that day away to reflect and process and pray was exactly what my little soul needed

    See, I had just come off of the high of attending my fourth wedding of the year thus far (two more to go!), and found myself really struggling with contentment in this season of my life... I mean, where the single ladies/fellas at? Because I feel like most of y'all can relate with this struggle that is all too real. It was actually a pretty weird thing for me, though, because 80% of the time I'm completely cool with where God currently has me: as a young woman in my mid-twenties, working my butt off at a great job (plus extra gigs to help pay off student loans), going on fun adventures with my girlfriends, mentoring teenage girls, teaching kiddos at church, and *gasp* being single. Yes, I am saying that far more often than not, I actually enjoy this season, which for some odd reason seems to take a lot of people off guard.

    Read More
    Follow