Real Talk: Being Single

As I’ve been hanging out in New York City for the last few weeks, I recently decided to make a reservation for one at a popular and busy dessert restaurant. After spending countless hours holed up in my friends’ apartment clocking my work hours and hustling over a new project (that I can’t wait to share with y’all soon!), I decided it was high time to take myself out for a sweet treat. So I made the 1.5 mile walk across Central Park toward the restaurant, ready to devour all things chocolate, only to end up slightly salty about a comment that was made to me by a waiter. As I was sitting down, he motioned to the empty seat and asked, “Where is your second person?” to which I kindly replied, “oh nope, it’s just me!” He half-smiled and said, “Oh, okay . . . well, enjoy.” That was one thing in itself, but then as I was leaving, he made sure to say to me over his shoulder, “hopefully next time there will be someone with you!”

While I don’t think there was any ill-intent in that this particular situation, I know that his comment could have been taken one of two ways: maybe it was said in kindness because it seemed like there should have been someone with me (like I’m cute and should have had a guy with me, or at least a friend), or that he was annoyed that — at the peak of their busy time of the day — they would only be serving one person/one meal instead of a “full party.” Sine I truly believe it was the former, you should know that I wasn’t personally offended. I have done so many things on my own at this point that a meal is pretty basic, and the truth is that I am totally comfortable taking myself out as I have learned over the last few years to truly enjoy my own company. What did take offense, however, was my not-so-slight justice complex, because all I could think was, “man, if I wasn’t as okay with being by myself, that could have really stung.” Which got me thinking even more that there are too many misconceptions around singleness, and — having been single for quite some time myself — there are a few things that I think need to be said about it from a single person’s perspective. And while I’ve confessed some things about singleness in the past, I’ve been searching for more: more truth, more guidance, and more encouragement for all of us as we, together, navigate the rapidly growing population of singles. But unfortunately, apart from this spot on message* (which I will reference many times in this post and encourage all of you to listen to ASAP), I haven’t come across much that suffices, thus I find myself here once again, sharing my heart on something that can be uncomfortable to talk about bluntly: singleness.

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Single Girl Confessions

Alright friends, it's dating confession time, so here I go: the truth is that I've been single for over six years, and never been on a proper first date.  You know, the kind where you have to get to know the person over a potentially awkward meal or cup of coffee.  And some may ask: why?  Well, because I've never been asked, but don't feel sorry for me.  I've been so busy and focused on my personal goals that I'm pretty sure I've given off a big ol' "NOPE" vibe for much of the last six years, and I'm okay with that.  I mean, I don't think that I've missed my window of opportunity or that I am past my prime — I'm only 28.  Plus a big result of the last few years is that I now know more of who I am, I'm debt-free, and I've saved enough money to travel for a bit, so I think I'm doing pretty well in spite of not having been on a date.

While I am by no means an expert on this topic or a pro at rocking my single status, I have spent many years watching countless friends get engaged, married, and start having babies all while I've been single.  And here are a few of the things I've learned...

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